Steady My Heart

Having a second child is like going back to scratch. The only difference is having the knowledge and the experience of child care from the first child. Even then, every child is different– I have heard that line before, and I have to agree with all the other moms about that.

My first born, Joshua did not want to be put down, he always wanted to be held. As a boy he ate almost every hour and at times every 30 minutes. I was dead tired breast feeding him. However, he was a happy baby. He did not cry so much. Meanwhile my second child, Anna, is different. She likes to sleep. She eats alot and takes a lot of milk so she can go and sleep for 2-3 hours. However, when she is awake she has a straight face and seldoms smiles. She easily cries. Her voice is so loud and full that it can be quite stressful for anyone who is handling her.

I am back to sleepless nights. I have taken the night shift and I let Anna’s nanny get her early in the morning so I catch about 3 -4 hours sleep. To keep me awake, I need my smartphone. I get to browse on Facebook, I get to read my bible online, I also get to listen to music especially praise & worship songs. These night shifts have become my quiet times… my time of conversing with God.

Anna for sometime was colicky and that made her cry alot. But God sent a friend who gave me some advise to try gripe water. After some online research, I asked my sister-in-law to buy us gripe water from Healthy Options. That did help in releaving her gas, and gave her better sleep. But that did not stop her crying blues when she is awake.

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I asked God to help me understand how He made our daughter… To give me wisdom and instincts to know how to care for her so she would be a happier baby. It is during the night shifts that I start thinking of all the events that are happening around me. I wish I could have been present on those events but caring for Anna has made me stay home. Many times, I keep thinking I am missing out. But a friend in the Lord, reassured me that this is what God wants me to do at this time. To focus most of my attention on my family. After all family is my primary ministry.

Its very hard to do, but I have declined many invitations. I am such a go, go, go person. Resting is often a struggle for me. Deep inside I do feel that this is what God wants me to do and I shall trust Him in this season of my life.

As a mom, I really enjoy my time with my children… In recent days, the Lord has been answering my prayers because Anna is responding more to me and is crying less. The Lord has also shown me, what seems to me a missing out on events is not a loss on my part. The Lord has been getting me involved on the things I am passionate about on a different way. I am able to do some work online and connections are made via emails. I don’t really leave the house, but God is still making me significant on the things that matters to me. Truly God is amazing!

God is teaching me that He knows me intimately. He knows my children and their needs. He is giving me wisdom on how to be a better mother. He is teaching me that if I am dependent on HIM, all things will just settle in their proper place and in the right time. Even the things that I love outside my home, He is working them out in my favor. All I need to do is TRUST that God knows what is good.

And with all my heart, I know it to be true. Our God is good! Oh God, you steady my heart… 😌

Here is one of the songs that have blessed me. Its during my night shift quiet times that I have come across this.

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2 thoughts on “Steady My Heart

  1. God knows Anna’s physical needs AND her emotional needs, which can only be supplied by His co-creator, YOU. You can look at this season in a number of different ways. For instance, if you had an accident and broke your leg, you would be at home while you healed. If your husband was ill and needed care, most other things would be put on hold while you cared for him. God laugh’s at our schedules, and our plans, and the “important” things we have to do, which means He’s been laughing at me all my life. When you are fifty years old and your daughter drops by with her kids for lunch, you will not remember the meetings you missed or the events you could not attend during the few months that she needed you in her first year of life. The return on your investment in her life today, does not compare to what you might have accomplished in those few missed meetings and events. You inspire other mothers with your testimony, which means that the benefits of this season are expansive to other families and children.

    • How true it is Dan that these moments I have with my children are far more important than all the schedules out there. Kids grow up so fast and I would not want to miss out on anything. I thank God for the privilege to be their mother. Thank you for your encouraging words, Dan.

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