Recently my little boy has brought up a notch on his episodes of meltdowns and crying. He looks for mommy all the time. If I am out of his sight he starts calling “mommy” with a crack on the voice. Soon after he will start crying. When he does not get what he wants, he starts crying again. 

It is quite annoying when his crying escalates into higher decibels. It just drives me crazy! Either I shut down and freeze or I just get all irritated. Telling my son, “please don’t cry, just talk to me”, sometimes does not work. My little boy has tantrums and cries. We need a time out! His Yaya has to get him and we need to separate. I feel so exhausted and feel such a bad mommy because I can’t control the situation and have a peaceful dealing with this 2 year old!

When Joshua gets impatient, or irritated because he can’t get what he wants, or frustrated because I don’t understand him, or upset because he can’t have my 100% full attention, then the tantrum begins.  He can wail for 20 minutes and it can be so tiring and exhausting and provokes me to get angry. Agh… It’s hard to keep cool, and I know I must. 

So, I asked other moms about their experiences and many who have passed this stage I am in. I almost got a unanimous answer… They said they can’t really remember what they did and how they managed! That account alone consoles me. It means, these days shall pass and will be a memory that does not scar! Praise God!  Hahahaha… I need that simple encouragement.

It’s so funny because during my birthday weekend, we had friends with us in the farm. Then, my girl friend Jade who has only one child entered our room. She saw Joshua in his meltdown episode and my little daughter also crying because she needed to breastfeed. Both of my children were crying. So you can imagine how the room sounded. I got Anna to breastfeed her, while Joshua was wailing in front of me. It was happening for a good 2 minutes. My friend was watching this episode. There I was trying to calm my nerves about it — all I could say was “Please stop scaring Tita (Auntie) Jade, she may never decide to get pregnant again!” Jade and I laughed at my remark. To some moms that scene would look sooo scary!  

I thank God for His grace. No wonder when I see mothers who have more than 2 children, they have patience and calm spirits… The catalyst in developing that character are their husbands and children! Hahahaha! It’s absolutely true! 

Okay my kids drive me nuts sometimes. At times, I have to be disciplined to discipline too (it means not to delay disciplining my child when he is disobedient or disrespectful).  But bottom line is — these moments shall pass and my heart will continue to love them despite these little shortcomings. I think many times I fail as a mom… I get totally clueless what to do, plus my emotions get involved. Yet,  I must remember the privilege God has given to me to be a mother… Though times get tough — in the end God rewards me with my children’s hugs and kisses. And all those bad moments go away! And they really do!