Category Archives: Insights

These are heartfelt and real stories of our journey in parenthood and in marriage.  We hope that with these stories will bring you to know Jesus and the God we love and serve.  We hope you will find joy in these stories or relate to it.

Sarbay a family affair

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My very first Sarangani Bay fest was in 2007. It was a small beach event that happened after elections. It was held sometime in June instead of May. My husband at that time was elected as Vice Governor of Sarangani. The Swim Across the Bay and Bay Bodies were the main highlight. Also a small concert happened at night.  

My first engagement as the co-chairperson of the Festival was in 2009. Former Governor Migs Dominguez prodded me to “go at it”. I got involved in the marketing and really moving the sponsorships– also repackaging the Sarangani Bay festival’s image. You can’t sell it unless it is packaged well. At that time, I had no children yet.

But in 2011, after that  Sarangani Bay Festival, I discovered that I was pregnant  for the very first time. Unfortunately, that was an ectopic pregnancy. In 2012, it was the first year we engaged into social media and rebranded Sarangani Bay Festival to “Sarbay”.  At that time I was 3 months pregnant with Joshua. We also won first runner up in the Pearl Awards for Best Tourism Event in Sports, Adventure and Wellness.

In 2013, Joshua was with me as a 5 month old baby allowing me to work.  It was one of the most successful Sarbay fest. It was the biggest Beach Festival in Mindanao and we won the Pearl Awards championship for Best Tourism Event.

 
In 2014, Our Sarbay Fest was a huge success with over 100,000 tourists! That year we had over 1000 tents pitched in tent cities, 80 concessionaires, our social media had about 11,000 organic likes on Facebook, and our stage and shows leveled up. It was a tandem thing for my husband, Gov Steve Solon and I! Plus, I’m so blessed because despite breastfeeding my son, he made it easy for Mommy to work on this festival.  

 

Again, after Sarbay 2014, I was overwhelmed with the photos posted about the festival’s garbage. It made me angry! I was upset because we really did have a beach and coastal clean up and Gumasa was back to its normal state in 2 days after the festival. The people who took the photo just bitterly kept spreading the news of how ruined Gumasa was, when it was absolutely untrue! I was enraged because at that time, little did I know that a little bun was in my oven!  This time I found out I was pregnant with Anna.

 
My son, Joshua has embraced Sarbay too. He would sit in our meetings and knows the video ads we put out on Facebook. He even eagerly tried making his own dubsmash of “Sarbay Forever” whisper and requested that he gets his own Sarbay Forever shirt! He is part of my inner team that inspires me to do my best for the festival. He understands that this event is important to mom, so he took interest in it too. Even my little girl, Anna, was pretty patient to let mommy do her festival duties!  

 
 

This Sarbay fest 2015 was an absolute success. We were able to get the tourists to be more responsible about their garbage and an ordinance was enforced for the environmental fee. We also had a Sarbay App made to help tourists get familiar with the festival. We had good support from Sponsors, from the Government, from organizers, concessionaires and beach goers.  But personally for me, I thank God for my husband’s trust to be part of the team and to freely work on the vision of Sarbay. Most of all, I thank my two munchkins — Joshua and Anna for letting me do my best in this festival. They were easy on mommy as long as meetings were held in the house… And they participated in some meetings too! Ohhh… How this festival has become a family affair for us! God is soooo good! We are a Sarbay family — and proud Sarbay citizens! 

What a special Mother’s Day

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This Mother’s Day, I am superbly blessed to have my mother, Carla with me here in Sarangani. This is the first time we are spending Mother’s Day together in a long time. What makes it more special is because I too am  now a mother too.

In the past days that my mom has spent her vacation here with me and the kids… it has given us time to talk, to bond, to catch up, to laugh, to get advises, to marvel at what God is doing. She says she finds it enjoyable to watch me and how I am a patient mother to my kids. Coming from my own mom that means a lot! I know I am not a perfect mom and many times I lose it. Her words of encouragement is just what I need. Her motherly affirmation that I’m doing okay, really uplifts me! 

 Also as a daughter, I still get my morning kisses from my mom while she is here. This vacation  time allows me to hug her and tell her “I love you”. I will always be her little girl even if I am 38. I know it must be so amazingly fast how time has gone. We had a good 12 years separation when she was in the U.S.   When she came home, I was married and busy with a career. It was a tumultuous adjustment for mom coming home. Really, none of us knew what to expect… It must have been hard for her back then. That is why, my sister and I really believes this will be our year of breakthroughs for our family. This is a year of our family to make new memories, to heal past hurts and to not miss moments to express love while we still can.

  
This Mother’s Day is such a gift from God for us both. As I walked with her today and went shopping with her, I have so much thoughts of thanksgiving to the Lord. 

  
So this day, I give this honor to my mom and all the moms. This day is for us who have been called by the Lord for a higher purpose — to raise children in love and for them to grow in the knowledge and fear of the Lord! Let’s celebrate together in this higher calling. 

Happy Mother’s Day! 

Sometimes you drive me nuts!

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Recently my little boy has brought up a notch on his episodes of meltdowns and crying. He looks for mommy all the time. If I am out of his sight he starts calling “mommy” with a crack on the voice. Soon after he will start crying. When he does not get what he wants, he starts crying again. 

It is quite annoying when his crying escalates into higher decibels. It just drives me crazy! Either I shut down and freeze or I just get all irritated. Telling my son, “please don’t cry, just talk to me”, sometimes does not work. My little boy has tantrums and cries. We need a time out! His Yaya has to get him and we need to separate. I feel so exhausted and feel such a bad mommy because I can’t control the situation and have a peaceful dealing with this 2 year old!

 

When Joshua gets impatient, or irritated because he can’t get what he wants, or frustrated because I don’t understand him, or upset because he can’t have my 100% full attention, then the tantrum begins.  He can wail for 20 minutes and it can be so tiring and exhausting and provokes me to get angry. Agh… It’s hard to keep cool, and I know I must. 

 

 

So, I asked other moms about their experiences and many who have passed this stage I am in. I almost got a unanimous answer… They said they can’t really remember what they did and how they managed! That account alone consoles me. It means, these days shall pass and will be a memory that does not scar! Praise God!  Hahahaha… I need that simple encouragement.

It’s so funny because during my birthday weekend, we had friends with us in the farm. Then, my girl friend Jade who has only one child entered our room. She saw Joshua in his meltdown episode and my little daughter also crying because she needed to breastfeed. Both of my children were crying. So you can imagine how the room sounded. I got Anna to breastfeed her, while Joshua was wailing in front of me. It was happening for a good 2 minutes. My friend was watching this episode. There I was trying to calm my nerves about it — all I could say was “Please stop scaring Tita (Auntie) Jade, she may never decide to get pregnant again!” Jade and I laughed at my remark. To some moms that scene would look sooo scary!  

I thank God for His grace. No wonder when I see mothers who have more than 2 children, they have patience and calm spirits… The catalyst in developing that character are their husbands and children! Hahahaha! It’s absolutely true! 

 

 

Okay my kids drive me nuts sometimes. At times, I have to be disciplined to discipline too (it means not to delay disciplining my child when he is disobedient or disrespectful).  But bottom line is — these moments shall pass and my heart will continue to love them despite these little shortcomings. I think many times I fail as a mom… I get totally clueless what to do, plus my emotions get involved. Yet,  I must remember the privilege God has given to me to be a mother… Though times get tough — in the end God rewards me with my children’s hugs and kisses. And all those bad moments go away! And they really do! 

Simple joys 

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Just this Holy Week we did a spontaneous and unplanned trip. We packed up our clothes, our groceries, our games, and our kids to a weekend in Kling Plantation. Our only plan is to eat and have fun by the beach and check out the farm. It turned out to be more fun than we thought!

For a couple of days we had no internet. This meant finding ways of doing things together without distraction… And that’s exactly what we did!

We had barbecue and swam in the beach in front of the farm. Our kids enjoyed making sand castles and flew their kites and some of us even took a small banca ride around.

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 We also did activities that were mentally stimulating. We played othello, scrabble, and the kids did their Holy Week art work too!

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The farm had small horses, so each one took turns riding them around. My son has seen horses but this is his very first ride. He was a little scared in the beginning. Much later he was touching the horse which was very good! 

 
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We also took a ride across the farm until we reached the Maligang River. There we got off from our cars and just took a dip in the river. Just like that– these were simple joys of life. As they say, the best things in life are free! 

 

    

  

    

 Since we got all “River-ed Up” , we decided to go straight to New La Union in Maitum and go for the most exciting River Tubing Adventure. First, we got entertained by the Tboli children and next by the rapids of Pangi River. It was absolutely an amazing nature trip! The kids were asking to do it again.

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 I loved how we disconnected from the world and from all our gadgets for a couple of days. We really enjoyed nature and the people we were with. It was a great weekend of simple joys! We did nothing expensive and yet what we experienced and the memories made are priceless!

Only Mommy!

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Its 6 am now and I have not slept since my husband woke me up at 1:30am. He tells me it’s time to bring Joshua to the hospital. Immediately, I stood up and left my 2 month infant on the bed and went straight to see Joshua to find out what’s wrong.

Joshua was crying and falling into a frustrated tone. He was in outrage and screaming. I asked what happened and I was told that he stood up to pee and then going back to bed he started a meltdown. His crying and body movements looked like either he was in pain or he was totally upset.

I took my 2-year-old into my arms and asked what was wrong. He was beyond the point of no return. He screamed and cried and I did not know what to do… About 2 days ago we confirmed that my Manong Joshua has tonsillitis and this caused his body to burn up. So the routine of paracetamol and antibiotics are in play. Together with that is the constant negotiation to drink his medicines and the crying about how painful his throat is. There is no one better to soothe this boy except Mommy. I had to be in his line of sight otherwise he would start crying.

As I held my son who was going thru a tantrum, I started to pray. I asked God to help me. Nothing I was doing was pacifying Joshua and I was tired and totally clueless on what next to say or do. I asked God to give me strength and to fill Josh with His Spirit because the 20 minutes that passed felt like forever!  I carried my 2-year-old like an infant and swinging him left to right. Finally he fell asleep.

I had to arrange the bed so that baby  Anna, Manong Joshua, and myself would fit. And just as I turned my son down on the bed, Anna my 2 month old infant started to cry. I had to breastfeed her back to sleep. As Anna finished, my son wakes again and cries. So from my right I turn to my left! (so this is what it feels like to have twins!)

After sometime of rocking Josh, he finally fell asleep. Ahhhh… I thought I could get some sleep. Unfortunately Anna was moving and signaling for a feed again. So I swing from left to right and tried to do side feeding. We laid there and finally she was sleeping and I started to drowse myself. It was not even 30 minutes I heard a strong sound on the floor. It was Joshua who rolled off the bed and took a foot and half dive for the floor. I heard him start to cry, so I stood up and immediately picked up my son.  Good thing in my embrace he quickly calmed down and went back to sleep.  But I had to get the little one again to comfort her from the commotion.  I was positioned with my right arm holding Joshua and Anna on my left arm and breastfeeding.

Just right at that moment in an uncomfortable position with both arms embracing my children I started to think… “Wow, only mothers are stretched this way”. Half of my thoughts were in limbo– asking myself ” how do I manage this?”  The other half were in thanksgiving that I have both my children in my arms, and that I am available to comfort them.

Being a mother in moments like these is sooo tiring!!! It raises anxiety and makes a mommy sweat buckets even to a point of tears.  Then I began to think of all the friends who had children with close gaps what they also had to go through.  Motherhood is a tough job! So, with all respect to mothers around the world, I have to say… we are built special by God. No one should ever say, “she is just a mom, what does she know?”

I look at the clock now, and it is 8 am. I have been awake for 6 and a half hours… and I do want to take a short nap so I can reenergize.  Thank God for nannies who will assist me while I sleep.  I pray for my children and for a better day. Everytime I look at my other mommy friends, there is a deep understanding and appreciation (even when not spoken) of what they do…  Many of them remind me that this is just for a moment and these difficult moments shall pass… For now, it is Only Mommy that matters to my children. So I must be thankful for what it is now… because this won’t be forever.

Oh and yes, I am greeting all women… “Happy Women’s Month!”

Teaching my child about God

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Joshua is 2 years & 2 months old. As a mother, my heart’s desire is for my children to know God and for them to follow God all throughout their lives. I started to research how I could teach my son about God. I found some materials on the internet. But I felt like the materials might take an extra effort for comprehension at this time.

Then, friends of ours, Manny and Lisa, encouraged us to start teaching our toddler bible verses that would be easy to memorize. Manny told us to try Deuteronomy 6:5 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength”.  Manny gave us a book by Larry Fowler called “Raising a Modern Day Joseph”. It says  in the book that the most important years in a child’s life that will impact his future are the developmental years from ages 2-12 years old. If we intentionally invest in our children’s character and knowledge of God then they can go through life without compromising.

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So I took the challenge and I decided to teach Joshua to memorize a bible verse in Deuteronomy 6:5 by doing actions.  Joshua would put his hands on his chest when I say, “Love God with all your heart”. Then he would put his hands on his head when I say, “with all your mind”. Then he would muscle up his biceps when I say, “with all your strength”. And he would run and hug when I say, “and love your neighbour as yourself.”  We would do this activity again and again at the start.  Then we practice it about 2-3 times a day. Here is a sample video of this bible verse.

I bought Joshua a toddlers bible when he was born.  I am trying to familiarize him with bible stories just by using my own words.  We started with Adam and Eve, the story in Exodus when Moses prayed to God and how God parted the Red Sea for the Israelites to Pass, and David and Goliath.  I am praying one day as we continue to talk about God, pray to God, and live out the grace of God, that my children will follow as well.

Joshua and his toddler's bible

He loves her

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Recent days have been very tiring and for me because caring for a newborn has no schedule. At times I get to sleep by 12mn and wake occasionally to feed my infant. But there are nights that are so long that I have caught the sun rise before getting my sleep. 

 For several weeks,  I have missed being the first one to get my son’s morning kiss. Joshua has tried to see me and wake me, but I’m too tired to get up… Even our morning play time is not the same as before. I begin to sense that this has been an adjustment for my older son. 



My two year Joshua asks for mommy’s attention by acting like a baby.  He would ask to wear diapers even if he is potty trained and no longer needs it. When he sees me feeding his baby sister, he would ask if I could carry him just the way I am holding his sister.  He also has periods of crying for no reason so I can hug him and embrace him. Sometimes, he gets moody and tries to fight me especially when he wants to play. 

 Of course, I am concerned that he might start feeling jealous of his sister and express that in the way he approaches her. But I am so blessed because God has given my son a tender heart for his sister.  He may have meltdowns with mom, but never with his baby sister Anna.  



When Anna cries, he would run to her, touch her head and say “Be Happy, Anna!”  When Anna is awake he would always ask to kiss her. He often jumps in the crib so he could play with her and kiss her.   





Joshua loves being “manong” or older brother. He smiles when we give him praises for being a good and sweet brother. There is such joy in my heart to see that my little “manong” truly loves his baby sister.

The man who holds my heart…

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Many ask how I met Steve.  Everybody gets giddy when I say “it was a blind date”.  Yes it was my first blind date and last… and finally he became the man I married!

That blind date I remember so clearly. I arrived 30 minutes late in Les Souffle and he was cool and collected.  He was smoking his cigar and having scotch — and I thought, “He isn’t my type”.  On the other hand, I had a cold  so I was sneezing and blowing my nose throughout the dinner date … (Not very attractive, ey).   It was a double blind date because we each brought a friend who we tried to pair as well.  It was a tense night, because we were all getting to know each other.  The night ended in suspense.  I wondered if I will hear from him again.  But Steve did call and we got to know each other more through more dates.

When we met he was 28, working as a stock broker and starting a Fund Portfolio Management Company.  I was a 22-year-old working student.  We became friends for 6 years before we tied the knot.  Our marriage is a gift from the Lord… It’s a journey of faith.   We waited for seven years before God gave us children.  The journey also made us grow as a couple especially when God led my husband, Steve, into government service. Now, we are parents, and together we are learning how to raise our children to love God and our neighbors.

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Today he celebrates his 44th birthday. I want to honor Steve,  my husband, friend, and the father of my children.

Strength – You have been my strength, my source of security.  Your love has allowed me to bloom to be the woman I am today.  You have always given me freedom to express my gifts and you encourage me to be my best. Your prayers for me have covered my weak points.  You have provided for me and our children. When I feel insecure, you remind me that God is all we need… Thank you Steve for being my strength.

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Truth– You have always spoken truth and you avoid sugar-coating the truth. You say what needs to be heard because of love.  You have also encouraged me because you love God’s Word.  You desire God’s truth and want to obey Him.  I am so blessed that you are after God’s heart.  I am a very fortunate wife because you are honest to admit your mistakes and you never found it hard to say “I’m sorry”.

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Empathy – God has given you a heart for people.  Your passion to serve the helpless and bring some light to the hopeless has fueled my own desire to serve others. When you host those medical missions and bring hope to people with challenges on health,  it energizes you.  When you are able to help someone get an opportunity out of difficulty, I see gladness on your face. It is your joy to see other people happy.

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Visionary– The more I know you, Steve… the more I understand that you are a man focused on one vision — To make God the Center. You want God to be the center of our marriage, the center of our family, the center of your service, the center of everything.  When God is at the center of everything, then all things will fall in its proper place.  We have seen that in our lives. Even in the midst of the storms, because God is at the center, there is great peace. Your vision for Sarangani is God-centered Prosperity — Our declaration is, “Without God we can do nothing”.

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Excellence – One thing about you, Steve, is that you like things done excellently.  You have patience to train and develop leaders to be more efficient, to think outside the box, and to go beyond. You are not over bearing but you command respect.  Even at home, you are patient with us.  We know that you want us to do things with eager hearts and to do things well. I thank God that you have that virtue because this sets as a good example to our children.  You are a great adviser to all your siblings and to me on achieving our goals and reaching are full potential.  God is to be praised for giving us someone like you.

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Over all, I want to say “I love you”.  You are such a good and faithful husband to me… Thank you for taking care of me and our children. You are the man who continues to hold my heart.  We love you dearly, babe.

Steady My Heart

Having a second child is like going back to scratch. The only difference is having the knowledge and the experience of child care from the first child. Even then, every child is different– I have heard that line before, and I have to agree with all the other moms about that.

My first born, Joshua did not want to be put down, he always wanted to be held. As a boy he ate almost every hour and at times every 30 minutes. I was dead tired breast feeding him. However, he was a happy baby. He did not cry so much. Meanwhile my second child, Anna, is different. She likes to sleep. She eats alot and takes a lot of milk so she can go and sleep for 2-3 hours. However, when she is awake she has a straight face and seldoms smiles. She easily cries. Her voice is so loud and full that it can be quite stressful for anyone who is handling her.

I am back to sleepless nights. I have taken the night shift and I let Anna’s nanny get her early in the morning so I catch about 3 -4 hours sleep. To keep me awake, I need my smartphone. I get to browse on Facebook, I get to read my bible online, I also get to listen to music especially praise & worship songs. These night shifts have become my quiet times… my time of conversing with God.

Anna for sometime was colicky and that made her cry alot. But God sent a friend who gave me some advise to try gripe water. After some online research, I asked my sister-in-law to buy us gripe water from Healthy Options. That did help in releaving her gas, and gave her better sleep. But that did not stop her crying blues when she is awake.

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I asked God to help me understand how He made our daughter… To give me wisdom and instincts to know how to care for her so she would be a happier baby. It is during the night shifts that I start thinking of all the events that are happening around me. I wish I could have been present on those events but caring for Anna has made me stay home. Many times, I keep thinking I am missing out. But a friend in the Lord, reassured me that this is what God wants me to do at this time. To focus most of my attention on my family. After all family is my primary ministry.

Its very hard to do, but I have declined many invitations. I am such a go, go, go person. Resting is often a struggle for me. Deep inside I do feel that this is what God wants me to do and I shall trust Him in this season of my life.

As a mom, I really enjoy my time with my children… In recent days, the Lord has been answering my prayers because Anna is responding more to me and is crying less. The Lord has also shown me, what seems to me a missing out on events is not a loss on my part. The Lord has been getting me involved on the things I am passionate about on a different way. I am able to do some work online and connections are made via emails. I don’t really leave the house, but God is still making me significant on the things that matters to me. Truly God is amazing!

God is teaching me that He knows me intimately. He knows my children and their needs. He is giving me wisdom on how to be a better mother. He is teaching me that if I am dependent on HIM, all things will just settle in their proper place and in the right time. Even the things that I love outside my home, He is working them out in my favor. All I need to do is TRUST that God knows what is good.

And with all my heart, I know it to be true. Our God is good! Oh God, you steady my heart… 😌

Here is one of the songs that have blessed me. Its during my night shift quiet times that I have come across this.

Time…a Family Investment

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Last January, my sister and her entire family came to the province to help me out.  Joshua needed distraction from my pregnancy and childbirth… and cousins are great sources of distraction!  It was 10 days of bonding and 10 days of character building!

Monique, my twin sister has 4 children.  Her eldest girl, Sabrina, is 12 years old.  Next are 3 boys — Matthew, JD, and Ezra. The great thing with them was that they could stay long with us because they are all home schooled.  School follows the student and not the other way around!

Joshua's "distraction" team!

Joshua’s “distraction” team!

The house was a riot. I really appreciated my husband because he allowed the kids to make a mess out of the house.  Joshua had swimming mates in the pool. Usually he does not like having other people share his swimming pool. This was good for him.  There were alot of laughing and alot of crying.  There were lots of negotiation and also moments of time outs… For Joshua it was learning to SHARE, saying “can I borrow?” and learning to let go and move on to another toy.

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Joshua learned to lend all his toys.  I saw him cope when his cousins invaded his space. He took his favorite toys in the baby’s room so he could have alone time with it. I also saw Joshua get into the mode of showing off everything he had.  He would bring his play doh then after going through it all, he would excitedly bring out the next toy. His cousins also had taught him different styles of negotations. Like when one gets a toy and the other does not want to share and starts whining, one must find another toy in exchange for that favored toy. It was watching the very principle of barter trade — toddler style!

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I guess what I loved the most in bonding moments like these are the growing fondness to one another and the building of friendship. Relationships are built through time. We have to invest in new memories. I am so thankful that my dear sister and her husband make family time a priority.

I got time to bond with my sister which is precious because I live miles away from her. They did not fuss that they did not see any tourist sites when they were here. Spending time with me and my family were more important to them. I am so blessed by their generous and service oriented hearts because they made themselves available for us.

Sister Bonding!

Sister Bonding!

Family is a gift from the Lord! Time is a gift from God! We must intentionally invest in them.