For the first time in 9 years of marriage, Steve and I joined a marriage retreat.
We entered feeling like we have such a great marriage. We love each other and we really don’t have any problems. But as we listened to the topics and listen to our “classmates”, we both felt that we can still grow in several areas in our relationship.
The retreat did not make you knit pick at each other’s short comings but it brought to life the roles that each spouse plays in a marriage and in our family legacy. It reminded me how I can be great wife (not just better). I also when each of us responsibly take on our God-given roles, we can bless not only each other, but also our children too.
For women, our main role is to submit to our husband’s leadership, respect them, and to be their helpmate. The bible says:
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
I personally am still a work in progress here! I can sometimes be stubborn. But I am learning that when I submit, it pleases God. When I submit to my husband, I ultimately submit to God.
In the retreat, I met women who never seemed to struggle with their husbands. It was there I realized that it can be possible! Also, I learned that we are a more refined version of Adam, having been made from his rib… You can say women are like a version 2.0 while Adam is first-generation made. So in many ways God made women with special features such as good home makers, multi taskers, administrative assistants, teachers and mothers… They usually can do what men can’t do. All because women are the greatest complimentary creation for men! And since we are strong in many aspects, God reminds women to submit to the leadership of their husband.
But wait, husbands have a much larger role – to be the Lover, Leader, and Provider. The bible also states this:
“As for husbands, love your wives just like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. That’s how husbands ought to love their wives—in the same way as they do their own bodies. Anyone who loves his wife loves himself.”
Ephesians 5:25, 28 CEB
It is very healthy for couples to go through retreats so they can get a time out from the busy routine of everyday life and nurture the marriage. It is also a time to reassess what is important and that is loving each other in a deeper and more meaningful way.
I highly recommend it to anyone who is married whether you are a few months in the club or even more than 50 years! It’s fun and also a great way to bond and date your spouse with God at the center of the experience!